Rule #11

Writing rule number ten gave we folk over at Muni Etiquette HQ an epiphany. And that is- riding public transit is not all about you. Your personal need to get somewhere? Not that fucking important. Your desire to talk to people, listen to music, to eat? Super fucking unimportant, actually. Public transit is just that - it's for the PUBLIC. That union-man up front is not your personal driver, those flesh-eating bacteria ridden seats are not your personal property, and the people around you sure as hell are not your friends. So pull your head out of your ass and think about someone else for a change, would you? Which brings us to rule number 11, which really sums up rules number 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, and 10, not to mention all future rules:

11. Be considerate of others.

We like specific rules, as you may have noticed. But seriously. Stop obsessing about your tiny unimportant life for once and try to remember that you're on Muni with other people. Who don't need or want to know anything about you, or get any closer to you than they have to. This is deep, people. Like, cracking the code for making it to Bodhisattva in the next life, deep. And regardless of your religion du jour, we suggest you try it. A little consideration goes a long fucking way.

Rule # 10

You know what's worse than waiting for 25 minutes before your bus or train arrives and then having to squeeze into said vehicle along with the other 39530984503948 suckers waiting for transport, knowing that you are bound to get stuck in rush hour traffic if you are above ground or in the tunnel for an interminable wait due to some sort of inexplicable delay if you are below ground? Squeezing onto the vehicle and getting slammed into the knees of the lucky stiffs who managed to get a seat because the jerk behind you is taking up more than half of the aisle space.

10. Stand on your side of the aisle.

That means- don't grab the handlebar and then angle your ass so that it hangs into the other half of the fucking aisle. Or plant your feet waaaaaaaaaay over towards the seats on the opposite side. Unless there is a major obstacle preventing you from standing on one side of the aisle- DO IT. I should not be pressed up into the people in front of me just because you feel like having a little breathing space on your side, jerk. It's not all about you!

Rule # 9

9. Give your seat up for pregnant women, disabled or old people.

It's common decency, people. Many a friend of Muni Etiquette HQ has told us a sorry tale of taking the bus or train in their third trimester and being forced to stand on their painful, swollen, pregnant ankles for the whole ride because some 25 year old asshat refused to give up his seat. And we've seen people blatantly ignore individuals with canes or on crutches and remain seated. Pigs. Be a decent human being and give up your fucking seat!